JOKES/POEMS

Sardar Electrical Engineer ki post ke liye INTERVIEW dene gaya?

interviewer ne poucha Electric Motor kese chalti he

Sardar BOLA

Turrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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Engineer as a Designer of the Human Body

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.

One said, ``It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.''

Another said, ``No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many thousands of electrical connections.''

The last said, ``Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?'' 

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Engineer वो है जो पक गया है

Mechanics की पढाई में

Submissions की गहराई में

Term work की चटाई में

Engineer वो है जो फस गया है

Campus Interviews के जाल में

Software Testing Companies की चाल में

Internals और Externals की मार में

Engineer वो है जो

Lunch Time में ब्रेअक्फास्त करता है

Dinner Time में Lunch करता है

4 Am Ko Coding करते करते जूस पीता है

Engineer वो है जो पागल है

वडा पाव और Bun Omlette के प्यार में

Bird watching Ke Vichar Mein

Cd’s के Collection में

Girlfriends के Possession में

Engineer वो है जो

Semester के Starting में मज़े करता है

पल में ही पढाई करता है

Submissions हमेशा Deadlines के बाद करता है

Exams के एक दिन पहेले भी Orkut पे Online मिलता है 

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ek engineer aur ek doctor ek hi ladki ko pyar karte the

doctor gives a rose to her daily while engineer gives an apple to her daily

doctor:why you give an apple to her daily

engineer:because an apple a day keeps the doctor away

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A doctor is talking to a car engineer, “Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care.”

“Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn’t changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month.”

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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for and enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, “I like both.”

“Both?”

Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.”

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7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So all of them gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :

7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..

Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come……

When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet SO when TC knocks, one hand comes out with the ticket and the TC goes away….Doctors say “Dekh lenge”

NOW on return Journey All of them don’t get a direct train to PUNE.So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, as from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI – LONAVALA) :

Doctors decided, “this time we will prove that we too are equally SHAANE”….All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket, Engineers don’t buy any ticket at all!!!!!..

TC arrives…. ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..

One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in engg Bathroom…

TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined……..

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :

SO now both the group are on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket ) trick.

ALL Doctors take 1 tickets…Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time…

SO TC Comes.. All Engineers show their tickets…..  & Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train!!!!!!!!

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Wo dekho ek ENGINEERING ka Banda ja raha hai ...

Zindagi se hara hua hai ....

Par "job dhundne" se haar nahi maanta,

Apne presentation ki ek line isey rati

hui hai....

par aaj kaun se rang ke moje pehne hain,

ye nahi jaanta,

Din par din ek excel file banata ja raha hai..

Wo dekho ek ENGINEERING ka Banda ja raha hai ...

Das hazaar job mein se ache

  job dhoond lete hain lekin ,

Majboor dost ki ankhhon ki nami

dikhayi nahi deti,

PC pe hazzar windows khuli hain,

Par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi deti...

Saturday-Sunday nahata nahi ,

Weekdays ko naha raha hai...

Wo dekho ek ENGINEERING ka Banda ja raha hai ...

Reporting karte karte pata hi nahi chala,

"Boss" kab maa baap se bhi bade ho gaye,

Kitabon me gulab rakhne wala,

Cigrette me kho gaya,

Weekends pe daroo pee ke jo jashn mana raha hai ,

Wo dekho ek ENGINEERING ka Banda ja raha hai ...................................

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Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,

"Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.

She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly,

"Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

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Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.

The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."

The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."

The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."

The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and their tails are interchangeable."

The fifth surgeon says "I like engineers . They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."

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An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.

The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.

Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. 

Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed. 

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Once A Software Engineer Was Smoking In A Public Place

Old Man Saw Him And Said: You Did’nt See That Board Indicates Warning About “Smoking In Public Places Is Prohibited”

Software Engineer: Oye Uncle, I Am Software Engineer By Profession And We Only Worry About Bugs & Errors….Not Warnings

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